


tony stark forgets he's married for 3 minutes straight

by lanceylance



Series: Social Media AU [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: M/M, Other, Social Media, Superfamily (Marvel), also peter's now a vlogger ig wow, hes too lazy, just some cute stuff ig, not a daily vlogger tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanceylance/pseuds/lanceylance
Summary: alternatively known as, Peter's First Vlog





	tony stark forgets he's married for 3 minutes straight

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the video, "Man Wakes Up After Surgery And Hits On His Own Wife!"  
> link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiviQfLyQX4

“Hey guys!” Peter whispers to the camera, waving. “You guys may or may not know this, but Dad decided to undergo surgery to get the arc reactor removed. No, Iron Man is not going into retirement. I think. Just ask him later.”

Steve snorted. “If you think this means your father is done being Iron Man, then you don’t know him at _all_. That man would die in the suit if he could.”

“If he could?” Peter asked, slightly confused.

“Why do you think I’m still Captain America? You think I wanna go out there everyday and get beat up? I go out there to make sure Tony doesn’t kill himself doing something stupid, like flying into a portal with a missile about to blow.”

Peter then turned the camera onto Steve, who continued to complain and grumble about Tony’s “stupidity”, or his lack of self preservation skills. Off camera, you can hear the faint laughter of Pepper and Rhodey, as both of them have witnessed Tony’s “stupidity” first hand.

The camera then goes back to its original position, taking a moment to refocus on Peter’s face again.

“Anyway, The nurse lady or whatever came out to tell us that he was doing fine and she’d come ba-”

“Who are you recording this for?” Steve asked, peering over at the camera with a frown.

Peter sighed, slightly annoyed by his interruption but doesn’t mention it. “The Internet.”

“Why? Don’t they see enough of us already, with those interviews and stuff?”

“Yeah, but this is about Dad’s surgery. So that they can know he’s okay and doing well.” Peter replied patiently.

“Can’t Pepper just say so on one of those thingies? What’s it called… oh! Tweeter?”

Peter suppresses a laugh at his Pops’ mistake. “First off, it’s Twitter. Second, I thought this would be nicer, that way they can see for themselves-”

“Oh cut the bullshit, Peter.” Rhodey laughed. “You really wanna record this ‘cause Tony’s high on painkillers.”

Steve looked at his son, waiting for him to say no. But Peter only shrugged, smiling sheepishly at his dad.

“Sorry?” Steve just pinched the bridge of his nose as Rhodey continued to laugh while Pepper bit her lip to suppress her laughter.

 

The camera then cut to a hallway, with Pepper, Rhodey, and Steve following a woman in a blue uniform.

“The nurse is taking us to see Dad- oh, well I guess we’re already here. Alright, let’s go.” The door opened to reveal Tony, barely conscious, laying on the bed. His eyes darted over to the door when he heard it open, and his face brightened at the sight of incoming visitors.

“Peppa! Rhodey!” He shouted, his words slurred by the crackers stuffed in his mouth as well as the painkillers.

“Hi Tony” She kissed his forehead  looking down at the man with a soft smile. She then stepped back, letting Tony see Rhodey.

“Hey Tones.” Rhodey said, resting his hand on the rail attached to Tony’s bed. Tony slowly moved his hand up to plop it down on top of Rhodey’s, grinning up at the man.

Rhodey laughed, shaking his head. “Man, you really are high as hell. Pete, you better send me the link to this video.” He said, turning around and pointing at the camera that Peter was still holding onto.

Tony peered behind Rhodey, trying to see who he was talking about when all of a sudden he gasped, the vital monitor beeping a little as his heart rate increased.

“Tony? Are you alright?” Pepper asked, rushing to him and looking him over.

Tony waved her away. “Yeah, yeah, ‘m fine. Move outta the way.” Pepper and Rhodey glance at each other, concerned, but comply.

Tony slowly lifts himself up, getting a better look at the person in front of him. “Did the doctors send you here?” He asks Steve, completely in awe of him.

Steve laughs a little, coming closer to Tony. “No. Lay back down, you’ll hurt yourself.” He told his husband, gently pushing him down.

Tony didn’t listen, as always. He pushed himself up again, dropping his crackers, which Steve managed to catch. “You’re so beautiful, are you a model?”

Everyone excluding the couple began cracking up at Tony’s question, while Steve merely blushed. “N-No, not at all.” He stammered, handing Tony his crackers. “Here. You need to eat them.”

Tony started to nibble on his crackers again, obviously ogling Steve. Steve just told himself to ignore it and focus on taking care of the man in front of him.

“What’s your name?” Tony asked, almost dreamily

“Jesus, how strong are these painkillers?” Pepper muttered. “He is so out of it.”

“Steve. I’m your husband, remember?”

Tony’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open, letting crumbs of the crackers fall out as well. “You’re my husband?! HOLY SHIT!” His shout made everyone cringe, and Steve tried to calm him down.

“Hey, keep it down now Tony. We’ve been married for almost ten years now, honey. We have a son! Pete, come here.” Steve turned around, beckoning Peter with his hand.

“Ohhh my gooodd.” Tony mumbled dropping his crackers into his lap and slapping both of his hands on his face. “We have a son?”

Steve laughed, putting an arm around Peter’s shoulder. “Yes, we have a son, Peter.”

Tony’s eyes got even bigger, if it was possible. He gasped when he saw Peter, reaching out to pull the boy down and pat his head.

“Oh my god, oh my god! PEPPER! I HAVE A SON!” He shouted, making everyone cringe again.

Pepper stifled her laugh, trying her very best to maintain her composure. “Yes Tony, I know. He’s a wonderful boy.” Peter looked over at her and grinned, which she returned.

“Woahhh…” Tony let go of Peter, and the frowned. “Steve, which one of us got pregnant? Hope it wasn’t me, I don’t look good with a belly.” That’s when everyone lost it. Peter, Rhodey, and Pepper were all cackling, tears in their eyes, while Steve just stood there, his face beet red.

That’s when the doctor entered, watching the chaos unfold. He finally processed what was happening and shooed them all out of the room for disturbing other patients.

 

“Alright guys, so I think that’s it for this video.” Peter said, still laughing a little bit. “I really enjoyed filming, I might keep making videos, so tell me what kinds of things you guys wanna see in future videos. Bye guys!” Peter waved at the camera, and the video cut to black screen, signaling the end of the video.

**Author's Note:**

> agshjdl tbh social media au stories for me are my worst stories,,,, not very proud of either one.  
> but since you guys seemed to really enjoy the last one, i'm gonna upload this anyway.  
> if you enjoyed this please give this story some kudos and or leave some comments of things you wanna see, like twitter feuds, more interviews or vlog like stories, etc. thank you for reading !! -nat


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